A Few Of My Favorite (Holiday) Things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes, snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes

Silver white winters that turn into spring, these are a few of my favorite things!

Never really quite understood how come The Sound of Music got to be considered a classic Christmas movie, yet without fail, ABC airs it every year during the holiday season.  And every year, I watch it – even if only bits and pieces. Never mind I have my own personal copy on DVD.  I still have to watch it whenever it comes on television.  I was almost 30 years old the first time I ever watched it, and was hooked!  Just like Gone With The Wind, Whitney and I can pretty much quote the movie line-for-line as we watch it.  We know every word to every song, and are such nerds that we used to play the soundtrack going down the road, singing at the top of our lungs. Fun times, fun memories.

The holidays always make for some mighty fine memories, and 2012 was no exception.  Seeing as how I’m getting so forgetful, I thought I’d blog about a few of them, lest the memories start to fade. In no particular order, My Favorite Holiday Things of 2012 are as follows:

 Thanksgiving Feasts at school:  Leyland and Corey’s classes each had a Thanksgiving feast, and I was able to attend both.  The children were dressed up like pilgrims and Indians.  Absolutely adorable! They love it so much when Greemaw comes to the school – (and she loves it too!)

Thanksgiving:  Delicious meal shared with my osmosis family, DJ & David on Thursday, then a wonderful family gathering of the Dunahoo clan on Sunday.  So much to be thankful for!

 Black Friday:  Each year the retailers seem to get an earlier start on the season.  Before we’re finished with Halloween, the Christmas decorations start going up.  For Whitney and I, the season starts in earnest on Black Friday.  Several years ago we started the tradition of getting up very early – oh wait – we actually never even go to bed.  The first time we did it, we were in Commerce at midnight, and after that turned out to be an overcrowded bust, we decided to stick closer to home.  We’ve scored some pretty sweet deals over the years, but for me, it is more about the mother/daughter time more so than the shopping. Whitney and I share the same warped sense of humor, and laugh at the seemingly most inappropriate things.  We have a stinkin’ blast when we’re together.  Add sleep deprivation into the mix and we’re a riot!  BF 2012 was no exception.  Had it not been for that mother/daughter thing, I probably would have skipped it altogether, but wanted to hold on to the tradition. I’m so glad I did.  I was aggravated that the stores opened earlier on Thursday evening, though, and swore I wasn’t going to go until midnight.   But, alas, we were among the throngs of crazy people out at 8 pm, and thankfully, we lived to tell about it.  Along about 3:00 a.m., we were feeling a little tired and hungry, so decided to take some down time at the IHOP on Baxter in Athens.  Big Mistake.  Lipstick on my coffee mug should have been my first clue.  Not. My. Lipstick.  Ewww.   Nuff said about that – but we were so tired that everything was funny.  And it’s a good thing, because it was pretty bad.

Worship.  Christmas is all about Jesus, and I love all the nativity things, the Christmas carols, the Peace On Earth Good Will To Men that goes along with it.  It’s my favorite season for worship.

 Holiday parties at school:  Again, the kids love it when Greemaw can join in the fun at school.  All three kids had parties, and all the parties started at the same time.  Whitney was able to sneak away from work early and join us, so when it was time for one of us to go to Leyland’s room, Corey wanted Greemaw to stay with him.  He told Mommy she could go to Leyland’s room – he wanted Greemaw.  Oh yeah.  That was some serious sweetness.  After that, we took the kids up to the Bass Pro Shop to see Santa and the Winter Wonderland.  Santa was booked up until 7:30 that night, but luckily we ran into him on his way to dinner break, and he did squat down long enough to let us snap a quick photo.  I think the fact that Leyland was on crutches elicited a little bit of sympathy from Santa and he didn’t mind delaying his dinner for an extra couple of minutes.  I was more disappointed than they, because I wanted the photo op.  They had already sat in Santa’s lap at the mall and recited their wish list, so they were good with a quick snapshot.  Though instead of Santa's magical winter wonderland backdrop, our snapshot had tackle boxes and ATVs in the background.  

Prayers on the way to school:  This isn’t a holiday thing – it will be continued, but it got started sometime right before Thanksgiving.  While I’m driving to school, I pray out loud over the children.  I always pray for them, but decided it might have an impact on them if they heard me pray.  I especially wanted Corey to hear that I was calling in the Big Guns (Jesus!) to help with his participation and cooperation in the classroom.  Every morning I pray for specific things for each child, and pray for their mom and dad to be safe driving to work and to have a good day. At the end, everyone says “Amen”.  One morning, before Corey said amen, he said… “Geemaw, you forgot to pway for Mommy and Daddy!”  So at least I knew he was paying attention!  And thought it was so sweet of him.  So we did a p.s. to the “pwayah”.  Another morning, he said “I think we need to pway for Gigi and Pop.”  So every morning, we pray for the children, for their mom and dad, and Gigi and Pop.  It has evolved into a sweet tradition, and if I haven’t started the prayer by the time we cross the RR tracks at my mom’s house, Corey will remind me “Geemaw, we need to say da pwayah.”  That little man!  He melts my heart!!

Social media:  I really enjoyed the Christmas photos, greetings, and all the holiday-related posts on Facebook.  It’s a lot of fun to see and enjoy the traditions of others.

 Pinterest:  Boy, oh boy – did I ever enjoy all the crafty ideas and recipes I found on Pinterest during the season!!  Maybe sometime before next year I’ll have a chance to go back and look at all the things I “pinned”, and can maybe implement a few ideas next year.  I used several ideas this year, but not nearly as many as I wanted to.  Oh, be sure to ask Whitney about her bracelet she made from a fork, a la Pinterest.  I’m still disappointed that I didn’t get one for Christmas!

Social Gatherings:  Years past found me socializing every weekend throughout December.  Not so much these days – but I did truly enjoy a few social events with friends this year. 

Sights and sounds of Christmas:  Yes!! I always love this part!  I was a bit slow getting my house decorated, and didn’t do as much as I have done in years past.  I bought a new tree, but before I could fluff the first branch on the very bottom section, my kitty nutted up on me and attacked the tree.  This was his first Christmas, and he was a little overwhelmed.  I ended up with a tabletop tree, and it served its purpose well.  Some new shelves provided the perfect place to display my collection of Santas and snowmen.  I have yet to get those guys packed up and put away.  They’re up high and out of the way, so I’m not in any great hurry to get them down just yet.  I love opening up the boxes of my things each year.  I guess forgetfulness has its advantages – it’s so much fun unwrapping the tissue paper and finding an ornament, or trinket that I had forgotten about. 

Seeing the children so excited:  What parent, grandparent (or most any adult) can resist the sparkling eyes of excited children – trying so hard to be good, because everyone knows Santa and the elves are watching!!  We didn’t have the “real” Elf on the Shelf, but I picked up three generic little elves from Hobby Lobby so that there was one at my house, Gigi and Pop’s house, and at their house.   Boy, did we get a lot of mileage outta those things!!!  I’m going to speak with Santa a little earlier this year, and ask him to arrange to send us a Real One for 2013.  Ours were kind of boring – they didn’t do anything fun or get into any mischief.   Christmas lives in our hearts, hopefully every day, but when there are children around, the magic seems to be contagious, and it’s almost like reliving my own childhood, with the anticipation and wigglesome excitement.  So much fun!!

Christmas Eve Tradition:  Candlelight communion service at church, dinner at mom and dad’s with immediate family.  We have an annual tradition that started – well, I don’t know when it started.  I can’t ever remember a time when we didn’t eat chicken stew at mom and dad’s, with my grandparents and great-grandma (as long as they were with us), my Aunt Joyce, and Uncle Gene.  Then Michael and I married so two more people were added.  Then we had children, and now our children have children – so it’s one big, happy family gathering complete with the chaos of exchanging gifts, camera flashes, and the sounds of happy people.  Mary read the Christmas story from the Bible, and did a fine job of it, then we sang Happy Birthday to Jesus.  Lucy was so cute and joined in the singing too! This year DJ and David joined in the fray, and it was wonderful having the people I love the most celebrating together at Christmas.  We missed having Linda with us this year, as she was feeling poorly.  

Surprises:  I also had a delightful surprise on Christmas Eve, as my dear friend Connie was in town.  We met for a quick cup of coffee before the church service, and did a little catching up.  The visit ended far too soon, but it was such an unexpected pleasure to get to spend any time at all with her!  I’m very thankful for the visit, short though it was.

 Helping Santa.  ‘Nuff said about that one… just in case… 

 Christmas morning:  In years past, Christmas morning was a mad dash. Michael and I would be up before the crack of dawn.  With Whitney – not so much.  She’s always been the “Five more minutes” kind of girl, and her dad and I would have to wake her sleepy-headed little self up every time.  Her grandparents would sometimes get there before she ever even got out of bed.  (And she is still a sleepy head!)  With Mary, Leyland and Corey, I got to witness Santa-Chaos a couple of times when we all lived at The 409.  Last year and this year, though, I missed out on the initial explosion of excitement, but visited a little later in the morning.  It was such a sweet time.  After sharing some time with the grandbabies, I had breakfast at DJ and David’s house.  One of my most very favorite things of all this Christmas (or EVER) was the stocking thing.  Never have I ever had a stocking.  Well that’s not true.  I have hung stockings by the chimney with care – but we never “did” stockings before.  I’ve always thought it was a neat tradition.  I couldn’t believe it - DJ fixed a stocking for me!!!  And stuffed it with all manner of really cool things.  Not just token things, either– she fixed me up just like everyone else in the family.  It was real.  It was mine, from her and David (and Tangela contributed a unique little something too…. Hahaha)  I cried.  That seriously ranks right up at the top of the list of the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful things anybody has ever done for me.  I just love that girl so much!!

Christmas Day Tradition:  Veggie soup and leftover chicken stew at mom’s.  Years ago, all the aunts, uncles, and cousins would gather at Mama Nay and Daddy Bill’s house – and you’d better be there by noon, because Daddy Bill was ready to eat and open presents!  Or, rather, ready to eat, and watch the children open presents.  I never understood why he would sit in the corner, letting his gifts pile up around him, just smiling and watching, and not open his presents.  I understand it now.  It’s so much fun to watch the little ones.  But, once the grandparents got older and were unable to have everyone in their home, we started going to mom’s – and the crowd somehow just gets slimmer each year.  With all us cousins grown and with kids and grandkids, multiple places to visit in a short period of time, the Christmas Day gathering has dwindled down to pretty much just the aunts and uncles, myself, and my cousins Sharon and Mary Kay.  Sharon had back surgery just before Christmas and wasn’t able to make it, and I only saw Mary Kay in passing – she was leaving as I was arriving.  It was a fairly laid-back day, and always wonderful to be with family.  My most UNFAVORITE thing was seeing my Aunt Carolyn seeming to slip further into dementia – and there were some truly heartbreaking moments in that regard. 

Baby Girl!  We welcomed Baby Girl Huth (Haley Ann) on Wednesday the 26th.  Such a sweet, beautiful, snugglesome bundle of joy.  Can’t wait to help DJ spoil this little cutie!!!

 Road Trip:  The Friday after Christmas, my friend Karey and I took a short trip over to the beach house.  Departure was at the House of Blues, so we just up and went.  She makes me laugh so much.  The endorphins were much needed and appreciated.   We’ve traveled together before, but usually with 250+ teenagers (band trips).  This was a Grown Up Girls’ Trip, and we talked and laughed so much that my throat seriously started to hurt. I don’t see anyone during the day, and there’s nobody to talk to but The Cat, so my vocal cords weren’t accustomed to so much abuse!  It was a good trip in many ways, not the least of which was enabling me to face a few anticipated demons from the past – but thankfully, the demons I expected to encounter (at the place I honeymooned with the ex) had already been conquered, and the trip was without incident in that regard.  Departure at House of Blues was fabulous!  The ocean was cold!  Can’t wait to do it again!

New Year’s Eve was very quiet, just Cooper and me at The 409.  Now another year has dawned, and we set about tidying up all the trappings of Christmas, declaring to get fit, stick to our budget, manage our time better, spend more time with family, and not sweat the small stuff. 

And now it's time for getting things back in order, and starting the new year with a clean, tidy house.  Yeah.  I’m still working on that one.

Fresh Paint

Several weeks ago, my church choir presented their annual Christmas program.  It was a beautiful night, filled with twinkling lights and festive attire, and the air was filled with happy voices exchanging holiday greetings.  I had been looking forward to attending the program, while dreading it at the same time.  Still a bit emotionally fragile, I was feeling a little battered by the holiday hoopla, and pretty much just ready to get it all over with.  Just another one of those “firsts” to get through on the way to finding myself again.  Wouldn’t you know – the very first solo was a song about a woman hanging her stocking on Christmas Eve all alone… without her husband… and I kinda sorta just lost it right there in my pew, and spent the rest of the evening wiping my eyes and my nose on my sleeve. As good Baptists are prone to do, we topped off the night with “refreshments in the fellowship hall”, and it all ended on a good note.  Until a phone call from the ex an hour or so later left me feeling somewhat sad and angry again. 

Over the next few days, there were three very special people who whipped up on me with some Serious Tough Love.  It wasn’t pretty. (But thank you, DJ, Mac, and Ricky!)  The week would prove to be very enlightening, and very liberating.  As a result, I feel more like *me* than I have felt in quite some time.

I won’t go so far as to say that I am 100% over it.  (Perhaps 98%, though, if I must quantify.) There’s still a hole in my heart – the place where my dreams of the future lived.  But like any wound, it is becoming smaller with every passing day.  I’m forever changed by what happened, but the important thing is that I am better.  And I’m healing from the inside out.  It is no good for skin to grow and close over a wound with poison still inside.  If the poison doesn’t come out, the wound will never completely heal – on the contrary, the poison will simmer and grow, and someday explode into a hot mess. And the scarring will be even worse.  Sometimes, a wound must be debrided, or “cleaned up”.  The theory of “it gets worse before it gets better”.  From time to time, I’ve felt the debridement, and though painful, it has indeed helped the healing process.

I’m confident I’ve survived the worst, and now I’m rockin’  the “better”.  I’m done with giving in to the emotionally-charged conversations and e-mails.  I’m just done.  Sad? Disappointed?  Of course.  It wouldn’t say very much for my love and commitment if I could just pretend it never happened.  But I will not be debilitated by it any longer.  I’ve been sad and disappointed before, and I’m sure I will be again.  It’s part of who we are as humans.

Christmas is a time to celebrate the greatest gift we could ever receive.  It’s about sharing love and thoughts of Peace On Earth, Good Will To Men.  We exchange gifts with family and friends.  Sometimes we even splurge and do something special for ourselves.

This Christmas I gave myself a gift.  Permission to let go.  Knowledge is power, and after learning, acknowledging, and embracing some things about myself and about my ex, I have finally let go of the grief that has debilitated me and rendered me emotionally dysfunctional for these past few months.

 

This is a recent post I put on FB: Letting go: For some people, it's a one-time thing. For others, it's a daily struggle. Sometimes the line between remembering the sweet and forgetting the bitter is drawn with a knife - right through the middle of the heart. This anonymous quote says it well: "It's a constant battle. A war between remembering and forgetting." Prayers today for all who struggle with letting go.

I won’t ever forget the events of 2012- the good or the bad.  It definitely ranks as one of the worst years I’ve experienced.  But I no longer struggle with letting go.  My prayer now is that I won't reach for it again and try to take it back.  Each day that passes seems to lessen that possibility, so I'm focusing on looking ahead, and refuse to look over my shoulder to revisit the past. 

Because now is most definitely the time to look forward.  There’s a new, empty canvas in front of me, and a fresh palette of paint.  Tonight I will ceremoniously remove the 2012 calendar from my clipboard.  The 2013 calendar is printed and ready to replace the old one.  The New Year is before me, and I can’t wait to see what it will bring!   

Happy, Healthy New Year, everyone!!

After A While

Today I borrow the words of poet, Veronica Shofstall.  

On Being Thankful

Shortly after I started blogging, I wrote a post that addressed holiday emotions: HolidayCheer, Holiday Blues (which would later become my first published article!) At the time I wrote it, I was at a good place in life, happily single, surrounded by fabulous friends and family, and had “adopted” a group of elderly widow ladies at church.  I’ve always had a heart for people who seem lonely, and it blessed me so much to bring a tiny little ray of sunshine into the lives of these ladies simply by reminding them how special they are.  We all have friends who have lost loved ones, or who are separated by work or military obligations, etc.  The holidays, while filled with magic and wonder for many, are often difficult times of sadness for those who are lonely.  My article encouraged the reader to remember those who might be hurting or sad, and to be a blessing to someone in need.

Four years later, I find myself on the other end of the spectrum – one of those people facing an empty chair at my dinner table, a lonely spot on my sofa, and one pillow on my bed instead of two. 

Is it possible to remain thankful through heartbreak and disappointment?

Each November, lots of folks on Facebook will post every day of the month something for which they are thankful. I love reading these posts! Some are lighthearted and comical, but most are heartfelt and meaningful.  I didn’t participate this year.  Instead, I just added a silent “amen” or sometimes clicked the “like” button to the posts of others.  I read each and every one, and was surprised at how many folks sometimes commented that “nobody probably reads these”.  Yes, people read them, and perhaps like me, were reminded to be thankful for those things we often take for granted. 

Being thankful seems to comes natural to me.  I suppose it probably originated from my early years, when learning to talk to God during prayer.  I was taught to thank God for my blessings.  And to thank Him for my trials, even though I may not understand the reason for them.  (No doubt, the blessings are way easier to be thankful for than the trials.  Bleh.)

The dark days of trials are tough, and I sometimes have trouble thanking God for the bad stuff.  Even so, I can usually manage to find something for which to be thankful. Sometimes it's just being thankful to have made it through the day without a meltdown, or without stabbing someone with a fork.  I have learned (and continue to learn) many things while navigating the stormy waters of this trial.  Things about myself, things about others.  About what matters most.  And who matters most.  I don’t like the place where I am emotionally, but I am thankful that every day, another tiny, microscopic sliver of light dispels another tiny, microscopic sliver of darkness.  Today is better than 126 days ago when my world was forever changed.  For that I am thankful.  I am stronger than I ever thought I could be – and for that I am thankful - but only because I have traveled through a place where I was weaker than I ever could have imagined.   Am I a better person for the journey?  Some days I would say yes.  Some days not so much.  I still sometimes feel the need to pitch a hissy fit, and some days I can’t help throwing flaming arrows and prickly barbs at the one who hurt me.  Those are not my finest moments.  It usually doesn’t take me long to come back to earth and face the very simple reality.  It Is What It Is.  For the trip back to reality, I am thankful. 

Everybody hurts.  Everybody cries, sometimes.  (Thank you, REM, for a great song!!) I'm not alone. 

I don’t understand it.  I doubt that I ever will.   If you know me well, you know I’ve got some control freak DNA goin’ on, and there is the need to at least understand it, since I had no control over it. But I don't understand. I really hate that part!! The assault on my heart and my emotions has been devastating – but the collateral damage has been extensive as well.  My family has rallied around me in such a manner that makes me think of a mama bear protecting her cub.  I have seen their tears and sadness in my behalf, and I have listened to their words of encouragement. Family matters.  And for them I am thankful. 

Going through this experience has also reminded of a foolish decision I made long ago that inflicted the same kind of damage to another family that I love, and I am humbled by, and very thankful for, their forgiveness. 

There’s an anonymous quote that I’ve always loved:  “I believe that friends are quiet angels who sit on our shoulders and lift our wings when we forget how to fly."  When the days are dark, and the nights are lonely, sometimes it’s just not worth the effort to raise my wings, and I simply don’t care, or even try to catch the breeze any more.  I don’t know for sure if guardian angels really exist.  Regardless of whether or not they do, every day I pray and ask Jesus to send them to surround and protect my grandbabies.  I believe they do exist, and it comforts me.  One thing I know for absolute certainty.  I have my own guardian angel.  She is not an unseen heavenly being with supernatural powers to protect me from evil and harm.  She doesn’t wear a halo or wings, and she doesn’t float around on a cloud singing, or playing a harp.  She lives 5 doors down from me, and she has been my source of sanity, encouragement, and the voice of reason and hope for the past 20 years, and especially the past few months. I love my daughter, my mama, my aunts, my cousins, my girlfriends, and my awesome co-workers, and all those girls have been there for me in girl ways I can’t even begin to explain!  But there is absolutely no earthly way I would have survived this without my own guardian angel, DJ.  Sometimes, she’s right there beside me, throwing flaming arrows and prickly barbs.  Sometimes she throws gasoline on the flames....  and sometimes she douses them with water when I get a little out of hand.  But she doesn’t judge me. For that I am thankful.  She tells me when I’m wrong, and she helps me see through eyes that are not blinded by tears or self pity.  She forces me to breathe when I don’t want to, or when I forget how.  She makes me laugh.  She lets me cry.  She kicks my butt when I need it.  She hugs me close when I need it.  When I first moved back here she brought me food because she knew I wasn’t eating right.  She does her best to protect me from hurtful things – sometimes including my own self, because of  my thoughts and attitude.  She helps me see that, while the situation that brought me back to The 409 is a sad waste of a beautiful thing, now that I am here, there are good things for which to be thankful.  While I never wanted to come back alone, it is good to be back in my home. It is good to be back among my family of neighbors.  It is good to be almost within hollerin’ distance of my aging parents.  It is good that I am here to take the kids to school every day since the new drop-off schedule would mean extra child-care expense for Whitney and Dustin.  (The extra bonus to that is that I get to see the children for a few minutes every day!)  It is good that I can take an extended lunch break and go to their class functions and parties, when their mom and dad aren’t able to go because of work. Or pick them up when they are sick, or transport them to appointments.  It is good that I can have coffee time at The Huth House on Saturday mornings – something I didn’t do while living in Winterville, though I had vowed I would continue doing it. 

Never in a million years would I have traded my  husband for these things. But since my husband decided to shake things up and end our marriage, I am thankful for the blessings that were waiting for me back home at The 409.

There’s no denying that this has been one of the worst years in the history of my entire life.  Every day is a struggle through the mud and quicksand.  I am reminded of an earthquake that destroys the landscape.  The rocks and trees will someday settle back into place, the rubble will be cleared and the buildings replaced. Years down the road the untrained eye might never know of the deep chasms that once ripped open the face of the earth.  But the contour of the land is forever changed, and the scars will be deep.  Years from now, one may never know of this awful journey I’ve taken.  Life will go on, and there will be brighter, happier times.  But the scars will run deep, and the shape of my life has forever changed.  I am a different person.  Better or worse… that remains to be seen.  I hope and pray I will be a better person, a kinder person, and a more thoughtful and compassionate person.  In the meantime, the landscape is still pretty much a wreck, and there are broken boulders strewn all about – but with time and patience, God’s grace and mercy, and a little help from my guardian angel… I’ll be just fine. And I will choose to be thankful for everything I have learned.  

While it has been a crappy year, and I've pretty much made it All About Me, I do indeed have a Thankful List that has nothing to do with my personal drama.  Like most everyone else, my Thankful List includes my faith, family and friends, to live in a free nation, God's grace and forgiveness, my home, my job, those who serve and protect, etc.  With a list like that, how can I complain?

Yes, it is possible to remain thankful during heartbreak and disappointment.  Not only is it possible, it is a key element in the healing process.  I am thankful for my blessings, and I am thankful that in my trials, I am never alone. 

But above and beyond the scope of all the above things listed, for this Thanksgiving Day 2012, I am most thankful for my guardian angel… my dearest, and one of my oldest friends since even before elementary school…. Debbie Jo.  My wings flutter a little stronger every day, and soon I’ll be able to fly on my own again… because of her.  I am so blessed.

Ready For The Fat Lady To Sing

Here we are - the eve of what seems to be the most important election we will see in our lifetime. In a few hours it will be over.  No more campaign ads, no more debates.

But wait – I predict we will simply swing from one mode to another, as the country continues to be so divided.  The winner will claim complete and total victory, while the defeated will cry "unfair".  I'm afraid Hurricane Sandy has thrown a monkey wrench into the equation, and a Romney win would  make the cries of "unfair" even louder.   Why?  Check your color charts for the answer.  The areas affected most by Sandy are blue states.  Obama states. Heavily populated Obama states.  It goes without saying that nothing will be normal in the northeast for many, many months.  Yet, the election will proceed as planned tomorrow.  Will everyone affected by Sandy be able to vote?  I wish I could say it would suit me fine if they didn't, because  that would be fewer votes for the incumbent… but even I, a bona fide Obama NON-supporter, feel strongly that every American has the right, and the responsibility to vote. That said, I am hoping and praying that every person without power, without food, water, and gasoline, will somehow still be able to cast their vote, even if it is for President Obama.  Because if Romney should happen to pull it off and win the race, the cries of "unfair" will make the memories of "hanging chads" and "pregnant chads" pale in comparison.  It is a little concerning, however, with voter fraud so prevalent even in the most desirable of voting conditions, that somehow all the mayhem and confusion in the aftermath of the storm could facilitate even more opportunities for fraud.  Therefore an Obama win will likely result in a Republican outcry of voter fraud.  I am concerned for the integrity of the voting process tomorrow.  So much is at stake, and the numbers so close, that the slightest glitch, whether truly accidental or orchestrated, could sway the results.

I shamefully admit that I cheated my way through my high school Economics class.  I only took Sociology (first half of the year) and Economics (the second half) because I had a crush on Mr. Summerour.  I didn't take the classes seriously, and memorized only what I needed for the weekly test on Friday, and copied the homework of others the rest of the week.  The rest of the time I just sat in class like a silly teenage girl, waiting for him to grace us with a pretty smile that showed his dimples.  It was worth listening to all the boring talk about GNP, supply and demand, etc., just to look at him.  Well, okay, maybe it wasn't that bad (or silly), but I really didn't give a hoot about sociology or economics. 

And while I still don't understand the teachings of Keynes or Hayek, the decision we face when choosing our new president doesn't seem much like rocket science to me.

Right or wrong – to my way of thinking, it boils down to one thing.  Jobs.  The working people and property owners in this nation fund the government.  Can we agree on that?  (Well, except for the part where we borrow gazillions of dollars from other countries.) Folks who don't work or own property pay some taxes when they spend money, but negligible in comparison.  If they don't work, how do they have money to spend?  From the money that they get from the government.  Where does government get the money to give them?  From those who work and/or own property.  Of course – ALL of our tax dollars don't go to subsidize those who don't work.The infrastructure of the country, the salaries of millions of government workers, medical research, a myriad of entitlement programs, etc, all are funded with taxpayer money.   But I'll bet it's safe to say that all the money that subsidizes those who don't work comes from working folks and/or property owners.   

The fewer people who work, or own property, the more they will be required to pay.  The money's gotta come from somewhere.  There have been a few news stories this past week about employers telling their workers that a vote for President Obama puts them in jeopardy of losing their jobs.  Understandably, those who support Obama are infuriated by this.  While I don't think anyone has the right to tell another person how to vote, I do think most of the sheeple (I mean people) have little understanding of the "trickle-down" effects of the plan that our president has proposed.  

But this I do understand.  If a business is taxed to the extent that it can't afford to keep its doors open, then people will lose jobs.  Even if they don't have to close their doors, they may have to lay off people.  Or not hire people.  Consider the trickle-down effect of THAT.  Joe America, a wage-earning, tax-paying, property-owning citizen, loses his job.  Loses his home.  Loses his savings.  Loses his insurance. Maybe Joe America's contribution to the government coffers was $10,000.00 or even less for the year. If you multiply that by the millions who no longer have an income to tax, or property to tax, that's a fairly significant chunk of change.  The trickle-down effect of businesses closing affects the entire community, not just individual families. 

There are those who support President Obama because of his stance on gay marriage and abortion.  I respect your feelings and your rights. But allow me to observe that same-sex marriage and the right to use abortion as birth control might not seem as important when our nation falls to a third-world country status, which seems the direction we are headed.  That statement will arouse emotions in some, no doubt – but do some homework for yourself.  Look at the people President Obama idolizes, has used for mentors, and who he has surrounded himself with for at least the past 20 years. We know about Rev Wright, and have seen the videos.  Even the videos where President Obama  lauds him as his pastor, friend, and mentor.  Google the name Frank Marshall Davis.  A mentor to "Barry" since the age of 10.  Who are the people he chose to surround himself with?  Bill Ayers. Van Green.  The list goes on.  

Let's focus on JOBS and the experience of a successful businessman to get the country back on its feet economically.  The social issues will still be there when we recover.  There will still be time to fight for what we believe in.  If you think your rights are being violated now, and we are a repressed people, just wait and see what happens when our administration is run by a bunch of card-carrying communists.  (Dodging rotten fruit and insults on that one… ha!)

And since I'm probably pissin' off my Democrat friends anyhow, let me add something else that has been nagging at me.  The whole Benghazi thing is yet another smear on the face of integrity of  our nation's leaders.  Imagine if that had happened under the Bush administration!!! Fortunately for the President, with the world's attention focused on death and destruction post Sandy, this tragic event will take the focus off another shameful failure in foreign policy.  Maybe we'll learn what really happened in Libya…. after the election.

And on the subject of storms.  I have asked myself how one explains the difference between Sandy and Katrina.  While I take nothing away from the devastation of either storm, I would have to say the biggest difference lies in the people in their paths.  It doesn't appear to me that FEMA is as Johnny-On-The-Spot as everyone expected them to be after the dismal performance following Katrina.  No doubt, there was a massive failure in the post-Katrina disaster relief efforts.  My heart still goes out to those people who, even after these years have passed, still have not recovered.  The biggest difference that I see between the two storms is that the folks up north, while understandably frustrated and impatient, are helping themselves.  They are helping their neighbors.  They are pulling together and getting something done.  Whereas people in LA (at least the ones the news media focused on) sat on rooftops and sidewalks screaming for the government to come save them.  They pillaged and plundered, raped and murdered their neighbors in the Superdome, and they pointed their fingers at President Bush and blamed him for their plight.  President Obama, on the other hand, is lauded as a Savior – while the folks up north, and people from neighboring states, work hand in hand to try to restore just the basic necessities.  Recovery from such mammoth disasters requires the people to help themselves.  Perhaps government agencies  could do a better job, but thankfully we don't get that much practice.

Perhaps there is unflattering behavior going on up north.  Who could blame the people?  As a mom and grandmother, I'd be doing everything in my power, even stealing food and blankets, if it meant keeping my babies fed and warm.  Maybe there are scenes of humanity at its worst like we saw on the news with Katrina.  But if there are, we're not gonna see that.  Because some might say it reflects badly on our government for not being able to take care of our own people.  No, we won't see any kind of reporting that makes President Obama look badly in the wake of this storm.  It is far too convenient a distraction from his abysmal handling of Benghazi.  Let's not focus on anything except his exemplary behavior after the winds and water have cleared.  Shoot. If they could get away with it, they'd probably blame Hurricane Sandy on George Bush, too. 

We'll watch with bated breath as the results trickle in.  It may be days before we have the final numbers.  I think I speak for many when I say that I'll be glad when it's over.  So we can get busy with the challenges we face ahead.  Because, don't kid yourself, regardless of which candidate wins, we still have some tough times ahead, and a long way to go before we can be healed. 

If you haven't already, please go vote tomottow.  Even if you're going to cancel out my vote - (but that also means I'm cancelling yours!  Haha!) Just do it.  Let the fat lady sing, and let's get on with it.  

Did President Obama Win The Debate?

The answer to this should be a firm yes.  Whoa – my liberal friends – no, I have not crossed the aisle.  Never fear, my conservative friends – my tent is still set firmly in your camp.

Here’s something I’ve been thinking about, though.  If an incumbent candidate is not able to absolutely mop the floor with a challenger, then… does he really deserve a second term?  Think about it.  (For the sake of simplicity, I’m using *male* as the gender.) It’s not like we’re comparing apples to apples here.  Here is a man, who for the past four years, has been allowed into the innermost circle of classified information, has experienced the daily grind of the job, and has been privy to the experiences and information handed down from the previous administration.  Shouldn’t he be able to swat the challenger like an annoying fly, and slam dunk him at the outset with all the ammunition he possesses? 

The debates of 2008 were a bit more evenly matched.  I’d say McCain probably even had an edge on Obama, because of his years in the military and in the senate.  He just didn’t *show* very well, and didn’t have the stage presence of Obama. The fact that he was FAR more qualified for the job didn't carry much weight in light of the smooth-talking, half-black, handsome man who mesmerized America with his talk of Hope and Change.

I’ve watched all three Presidential Debates as well as the VP Debates.  Here’s my take.  I know very little about foreign policy, how the economic system works, government spending, and even less about the mechanics of how our government operates.  That is a shameful thing to admit.  But, I probably fall into the majority.  I’d bet a good many of the Average Joe Americans know about as much (or little) as me.  So how do we know who is telling the truth?  We don’t.  So, then, on what do we base our decision on who "won" the debates?  Stage presence, charisma, class, and who appears the most “presidential”.  Shallow?  Perhaps.  Somewhat impressive, I'd say, is the ability to answer questions, and go head-to-head with the opponent. The ability for the non-incumbent candidate to know the vast amount of stuff he has to know in order to duke it out with the Commander In Chief, the Leader Of The Free World. Impressive. At least it is to me. 

It’s no secret that I do not care for President Obama.  About the only good thing that I can or will say about him is that he has charisma, a great stage presence, and he knows how to give a speech.  I believe he could sell a cup of water to a drowning man.  That being said – if you know me, or have read other posts related to politics, you will also know that I’m fair.  As best I know how to be.  I listen to both sides.  I want to hear what the liberals say as much as I want to hear what the conservatives say.  I don’t care about race, sexual orientation, or gender.  However, I do care about integrity, both real and perceived.

And I detest arrogance.  In my opinion, President Obama is one of the most arrogant men to walk the planet.  In reality, maybe he’s not. Perhaps I am wrong. I’ve not had the occasion to meet him personally or hang out with him on the weekends.  However – the way he conducts himself exudes arrogance.  I had to refrain myself from slapping my television set during the first debate.  There was a man who was so confident in his position and his assumption that his reelection is a done deal, that he had little regard for what the opposing candidate had to say.  He looked bored, condescending, and appeared as though scooping up his dog’s poop while on an afternoon walk would be more stimulating to him. Don’t believe me?  Go back and watch it again, with the volume turned down.  The words that were spoken said far less (to me) than the demeanor of the men talking. 

Athletics has never been a strong point for me.  I can dribble a basketball, and I can walk or run.  I cannot to both at the same time.  That fact was enough to keep me off the basketball team when I was in (today’s equivalent of) middle school.  But give me some pom-poms and I could rock-n-roll with the best cheerleaders in the county.  At the beginning of my 8^th grade year, at the annual cheerleading tryouts, I was dealt a hard blow of reality.  I very distinctly remember the basketball coach and one of my 8th grade teachers, Sammy Wood, greeting me as I walked into the classroom that afternoon after tryouts.  He had an odd look on his face, and I asked him what was wrong.  It was like he was mad at me, or something.  I’ll never forget what he said.  “Cathy, you are so SURE you made the cut.  You need to understand that just because you were a cheerleader in 6^th and 7^th grade, and just because you think you are so great, does NOT guarantee you a place on the squad this year.”

Wow.  Sounds pretty harsh. You’d never hear a teacher say anything like that nowadays.  Angry parents would have them fired over such a derogatory remark to little Johnny or Suzie.  This was a different time, though, when teachers were allowed to be teachers, and the authority figures that they should be.  We loved and respected our teachers.  What Mr. Wood said to me not only scared the crap out of me, but it broke my heart that he felt that way about me.  It also broke my heart to realize that I had behaved in such a manner.  I vaguely even remember walking off the court thinking “I got this.”  Mr. Wood saw my attitude, and cared enough about me to bring me down a notch.  He followed it up with “I hope you do make it, but you just need not assume you will make it.”  I had not only assumed I would make it, I was absolutely certain of it.  I spent a worried few hours, and was prepared to be humiliated if I didn’t make the cut.

Thankfully – I did make the cheerleading squad that year, and lived to rock the pom-poms one more season, but that encounter with Mr. Wood taught me a valuable lesson that I hope I never forget. 

It seems that President Obama has an “I got this” attitude.  I am afraid that he probably will end up back in the Oval Office again.  But he need not be so cocky.  It doesn’t look good on him.  I'm hoping that he is wrong, and that he will be vacating the White House come January.

And then there’s VP Biden.  His performance during the debate was laughable.  (Pun intended.)  What a joke.  Five minutes into the debate, I posted on FB something to the effect that "Joe’s got his gigglebox turned over."  Even Average Joe Americans like me could see that he viewed Paul Ryan as a gnat in his lemonade on a hot afternoon.  Simply something to be shooed away, and laughed over.  What an arrogant ass.  While I readily admit that there’s more that I don’t understand than I do – does he really think we are that stupid?  He wants to laugh at concerns over Iran’s ability to generate nuclear weapons.  Oh.. sure, they’ve got the stuff to make the bombs, but don't  worry about it!  They don’t have anything to load or carry them on.  Really, Mr. VP?  The fact that they are able to procure the materials needed to build a bomb doesn’t alert you to the fact that they can get their grubby little hands on a missile?  Oh, but let’s just laugh about such a silly concern.  Like he laughed about everything else.  Honestly, Paul Ryan deserves an award for being able to continue the debate without punching that smile right off of VP Biden’s face.  I seriously wanted to punch him my ownself. How the liberal media declared him the “winner” of that debate is beyond my grasp of comprehension. 

But back to my original point. President Obama and VP Biden should have been able to absolutely slaughter Gov Romney and Senator Ryan, considering their positions.   The fact that they didn’t, IMO, would make Romney and Ryan the winners, by default – regardless of whether they won or not on their own merit (which I still think they did!)

I am ready for a president who thinks we are more important, and our nation’s recovery is more important than bowing in deference to a middle-eastern king, or apologizing to Muslim nations because we have been “insensitive”, or “dictatorial”.  That’s a crock.  And a president who knows that we indeed still have lots and lots of bayonets, and that it does matter who has the most battleships in the ocean. 

I am well aware that this election is probably the most hotly-discussed and emotional election in many years - certainly since I have been of voting age.  I hope that YOU have made up YOUR mind which candidate you will support.  This rant of mine is not intended to sway you or change your mind.  (Likewise, don’t bother to try and change mine… you will not succeed.)  I have many friends who feel as strongly supportive of President Obama as I strongly oppose him.  That’s fine.  I love you anyway.  Vote for whomever you please. Just please vote.  But don’t be saying The Democrats won the debate.  Because they didn’t.  They should have blown them out of the water, but they didn’t.   I am Hoping for Change.  I already voted my choice.  Make sure you vote yours!!  

And Miles To Go Before I Sleep

Wow.  What a busy start to a busy week.  Grandparents' Breakfast with Leyland and Corey at school today, then a visit to the book fair.  (Well planned, SES... haha!)  My grandchildren are such braniacs - their book choices were Justin Bieber and Batman.  Oh well.  As long as they will "read" them, I'm fine with their selections.  At least I was able to convince Corey he really didn't want the book on zombies and werewolves.  Superheroes trump zombies any day for this Greemaw.  Mary's class has Grandparents' Breakfast and book fair on Wednesday.  Wonder what book she will choose?

Then off to Winder with a long list of places to go and people to see.  First stop was State Farm to report my recent vehicle change (a month ago, I think?) and get coverage changed to the Sportage.  I didn't get the thingy from the car dealership until Thursday to take to the tag office (since my tag expired yesterday - a Sunday).  Thankfully, there was a reminder that I needed proof of insurance to do the tag thing.  Ooops!!  I had forgotten all about making that phone call.  With a limited amount of time this morning, it was crucial to plan my route carefully.  For such a small town, Winder has some big traffic issues, and it can be nightmarish trying to navigate the fair streets of the city.  Next stop was the ATM at the bank in case I needed cash for my next stop -  the courthouse.  That was a good move.  I did need cash for copies.  Good thing I remembered to do the ATM thing, because my own personal superhero, Richard Russell, was not in the courthouse today to spot me some cash, like he did the last time I was there.  Thank you Vicky, for once again, knowing exactly what I needed and getting it for me quickly.  And your kind words are always appreciated.  Then, with proof-of-insurance in hand, it's off to the Tag Office at the annex building, which is also on the way to the Social Security Office, my next planned stop.  I noticed an Early Voting Today sign on the lawn at the annex, so I decided I'd go ahead and get that out of the way while I was out.  I can never remember my name on the voter registration card (Cathy, Catherine, Linda ... ) so I was a bit worried that voting out of my normal voting place would be problematic.  Especially since my current Driver's License has a totally different name and address.  No problems, though, and a wait time of less than ten minutes.  So, it's official!  I've cast my vote!!

In order to change my driver's license, I need my Social Security card, which has been stored in A Safe Place.... (Translation - I will never see it again).  Thinking maybe I had put it back in the safety deposit box, I decided a trip back to the bank could possibly eliminate a trip to the SSA office.  Besides, I've been meaning to surrender the safety deposit box anyway, since last year at a Black Friday sale I bought one of those handy dandy fireproof personal safe  things.  As of today, I've retrieved everything from the SD box, and surrendered my key.  So, there's another task I can mark as complete on my to-do list!! But, alas, the SS card was not inside.  Just a collection of bond certificates, various and sundry divorce papers, a note from my grandmother, and a proof set of coins from the year Whitney was born.

Shoot. That meant I would have to go by the SSA office.  Bleh.  I spent 45 minutes waiting in a room full of all varieties of people.  And there was this one lady who just insisted on getting in my *space* and breathing on me.  I don't even like people I know and love breathing in my face, much less a croupy, raspy-sounding stranger.  Trying not to appear rude or snobbish, I discretely paced the room for a moment and then found a different seat.  To my surprise and delight, the person behind the counter who finally called my number was none other than a childhood friend and classmate, so I retracted my horns and hid my pitchfork, and enjoyed a few minutes of catching up with her. (Trying to be mindful of the other folks waiting with their own horns and pitchforks, and not "visit" too long.) On the way home, just one more quick stop in the Pharmacy to pick up some medication, and now I can check off all the places I needed to go today.  Yes, I really did have a list.  If not, I'd get back home without going everywhere I needed to go.

And now I think I am finally ready to start my work day, which won't end until 11:00 p.m. tonight.  I'm a tad bit upset that someone scheduled a Presidential debate on a Monday night.  Don't these people know that I work Monday nights? (So I can send them some tax dollars!!)  I wonder if it's too late to petition them to change it to Tuesday night.  Hmph. The nerve.

At any rate, it was a busy morning, but I got tons of stuff done.  Even though my impatience was beginning to show a little at the SSA office, it really was a productive few hours.  Now I need to keep the momentum going, get lots of work done *at work*, and then it will be bedtime again.  Though I've already been miles and miles today already, there are still miles to go before I sleep.