With This Ring: A Message For My Married Friends

Over the past week or so, we've been hearing a lot about the Supreme Court case regarding gay marriage.  Yesterday and today, the news and social media have been running  with the story, and FB has been ablaze with icons both in support and protest of the issue.  Folks are sometimes not on their best behavior when they feel so strongly about something, and try so passionately to convince others that they are wrong.  I find it very disturbing, and I'm spending my lunch break sharing a few thoughts I've had. 

If married couples spent nearly as much time and energy working on their own marriage as they spend either supporting or fighting against gay marriage, then maybe the divorce rate between heterosexual couples wouldn't be so high.  Gay marriage, whether you support it or do not support it, will not be the destruction of the institution of marriage.  We heterosexuals have pretty much destroyed it ourselves. If a man marrying a man, or a woman marrying a woman can destroy your own personal marriage, then I question what your marriage is based on to start with. Whatever your point of view on the issue, be sure you give at least equally, hopefully more, attention to your own relationship with your spouse.  Absolutely - Stand up and fight for what you believe. If you're against it, say so.  If you're for it, say so.  But temper your fight with remembering that no matter what a person's religious or sexual orientation, we are all human beings, and should be treated with respect.  The haters and the name-callers make me sick - and it happens in both camps. Such behavior will never be conducive to bringing the two sides together - rather it will only further widen the chasm.  So wave your flags, carry your banners, stand on your soapbox, wear your t-shirts, and spread your message.  But don't neglect dedication to your own marriage in the process.  If the institution of marriage is truly important to you, then prove it by making your own the best it can be.   

(Note- this is my personal viewpoint, and not an invitation to discuss the rightness or wrongness of the issue.  Any comments of that nature will be removed, no matter which "side" you're on.  You're welcome to your own points of view and convictions, but if it's a debate you want, then you can start your own post.  I'm not engaging in that here. [insert the image of my sweet smiling face here]   As a divorced person, I feel very strongly about protecting your own marriage first.  Now- If you want to leave comments about how to have a strong marriage, and reveal your secrets to a happy relationship, then please feel free to share!)