The brassiere. The Bra. Second-Base Covers. Over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. Bray (long a sound- as per Daddy
Bill). Ta-ta toter. Binder (from the movie Trouble With Angels). Boobie Baskets (from the movie Madeline). The Wonder Bra. Hooter Harness. Flopper Stopper. Boob hats. Whatever you choose to call this female version of a jock strap, there are many styles and versions from which to choose. Some women complain about them, and have said they surely must have been invented by a man. I rather doubt that, as most men would probably prefer we did not wear them. At any rate- necessary as they may be, I was recently introduced to an alternative use of this mostly unseen garment. My daughter will often drop Corey's pappy (pacifier) down the front of hers while nursing. (Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that {in case you don't know this already} there's all manner of specialty bras, including those for nursing mothers.) This allows her to quickly retrieve said pappy and poke it into his mouth when he decides he is finished nursing. And while that is a very clever use of the bra, the one I recently discovered trumps even that. As you know, I work from home in my pajamas. As you may or may not also know, several months ago, I disconnected my land-line phone. This means that I must keep my cell phone handy, especially while I'm on duty. My jammies do not have pockets. Which means I must be careful to take my cell phone with me any time I am away from my desk. Can you see where I'm going with this??? While on our scrapbook retreat, my dear friend Marty kept patting her sternum one day, and when I asked her about it, she told me she had tucked her cell phone in her bra! What an AMAZING idea!!! I can't believe I didn't think of that myself, what with the pappy-in-Whit's-bra thing! I was so excited that I immediatly tucked my phone into the abyss of my brassiere, where it remained nice, cozy and warm for the duration of my scrapbooking-pajama-wearing weekend. And it works perfectly now that I'm back at home, working in pocketless oblivion. Just don't be alarmed, if you ever stop by and catch me in my jammies, if at any given point in time my boobs start ringing and vibrating. Don't panic or call 911. It's just the phone. Thankfully, I'm eligible for a phone upgrade in March, and I'm hoping to find a phone that doesn't have one of those little stick-antenna thingies....
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