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Monday, April 20, 2009

Can I Just Vent A Little?

I'm all for safety and tornado preparedness. I think early warning is a wonderful thing. But can I just say grrrrrrr to channel 2 for being so retarded about it??? I am delighted that they have all the fancy whirlygigs, bells and whistles they need to do their jobs. I'm all about work efficiency. But can I just tell Glen, Brad, David and Karen that we don't care about the TVS, BTI, the percentage of a chance that hail will fall, blah, blah, blah. Honestly. And we ESPECIALLY don't care when it is prime-time TV! I doubt anyone would mind if they could possibly interrupt for 30 seconds to say that Such And Such a County is under a tornado warning, please activate your emergency preparedness plan. But no. They will interrupt a program to tell you that said county is under a watch/warning, then proceed to dissect the storm on their fancy schmancy computer radar gizmos, show you how tall the clouds are, what the temperature is at the top and the bottom of the cloud, how many lightning strikes associated with the cloud, what size the hail will be. Then we have to see the red/green reflectivity mode models, and how fast the wind is blowing toward the radar as opposed to how fast it is blowing away from the radar. Then they give you a minute-by-minute tracking device that tells you what time the storm will arrive in the towns that lie in its path. (Now that isn't such a bad thing, but they have to read the list out loud to you, as though you can't read yourself. All the while you're wondering who killed the person in your movie, or what was the big secret about to be revealed, did the boy kiss the girl, or who won the contest, or whatever it was you were watching.) This scenario is then repeated ad nauseam, just in case one person out in tv-land just now turned on their tv and may have missed the first 20 minutes of the broadcast. And to top it off, channel 2 must surely think they have the most ignorant of viewers, as they repeatedly tell you the "three most important things to remember in a tornado warning" are 1) get to the lowest level of your house. 2) stay away from windows. 3) go to an interior room such as a bathroom or hallway. Okay. Maybe I'm over-reacting on this one, but... if someone doesn't know that already, then hopefully their mommy or their caregiver is somewhere close by. Making that insulting practice even worse is the fact that they feel they must explain. 1) get to the lowest level of your house.. which is a basement or bottom floor. (duh!). 2) stay away from windows... because there could be broken glass and debris. (double-duh). 3) go to an interior wall such as a bathroom or hallway.... because this puts additional walls between you and the exterior of your home. (not even worthy of a duh). AND they repeat this mantra. Every. Five. Minutes. I guess some people need reminding.

Okay, lest I sound insensitive (or selfish for pouting over missing the last 15 minutes of Brothers & Sisters), if there is anyone who can help me understand this insanity, I'm perfectly willing to listen. But I will probably counter your explanation with this: They are telling the people in Some Town, Georgia, that the tornado is over their neighborhood, to take cover immediately! Well, if the people in Some Town, Georgia were watching you for the last 20 minutes, they know the tornado is coming to their house and they are already 1) at the lowest level of their house, 2) away from windows, 3) in the interior-most room. They're not watching you any more. They are in their safe place. But the rest of us, miles and miles away from the storm, who are trying to watch a television show or movie, are sitting here while they dissect the storm. We don't care what the TVS or the BTI of that storm is, and I can gaurantee you the folks who are 1) at the lowest level of their house 2) away from windows 3) well you get the picture... they don't care either. They just want to be safe. And we just want to watch tv.

Glen, Karen, David and Brad- I'm not dissing you folks. I really like you. I think you do a great job. It's just that we don't care about all the technical details of the storm. While I obviously can't speak for everyone, here's what I'm interested in: Show me the radar with the green, yellow and red colors on it. Show me the radar in motion so I can see if the red parts are coming toward me. Tell me (briefly if you must do it in person, or give me a scrolling banner across the bottom of the screen) if I'm under a severe thunderstorm warning or a tornado watch. Split the tv screen and use flashing neon letters to issue a tornado warning, with a picture of the above-referenced radar. You folks are watching tv... you know when the commercials come on... talk to me then. Otherwise, please, please just stick to the basics and leave the technical stuff to your colleagues. We just want to watch tv.

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